Dang-it, Duality!
Have you heard the term duality? It means that something has opposing yet complimentary characteristics. Our logical minds understand things by assigning them into categories, so this makes understanding duality difficult, especially when we are trained to only see things logically.
This concept is getting a lot of attention lately because we are going through a societal shift away from black and white thinking as we realize that the rigid structures of the past no longer make sense.
The goal is to observe rather than label and judge. This is how we step into our power. The logical mind is there to classify into one category to feel safe and powerful by understanding the world we live in, but it is when we transcend this and take an objective perspective that we have the most power. When we can hold both polarities and focus instead on how we feel (without judgment), we can make the best decision with this information. This is called non-duality, and is a path to enlightenment and peace.
We give our power away when we get stuck on a label or judgement we believe to be “right”. When we react out of fear of being wrong, we will do things to avoid this emotional pain because it makes us feel weak.
The balance between these polarities comes from not discarding or shaming one, but to be able to hold both at the same time. While a label is useful, it does not mean that it is the only truth. There may be two truths that are opposing or seemingly impossible or contradictory to the logical mind.
We cannot achieve balance without experiencing imbalance. Because we have been trained to shame and avoid the imbalance part of life, this leads to unpleasant emotions and unhealthy behaviors. When we reject and resist the imbalance, we cannot find the balance point and are left lost, confused, and angry.
This process is like riding a bike. It requires constant adjusting and movement to achieve stability.
By understanding duality, we can look at mistakes or “bad” things as helpful and necessary. This reduces fear, shame, anger, anxiety, and stress. This also improves self-esteem and eliminates the need to argue, defend, or control people and situations to align with your way of thinking.
How To Apply Duality In Your Life
1. Become aware of when you are labeling or categorizing.
2. Identify the label or category you have placed it in.
3. Recognize its dual nature.
4. Identify both extremes of its dual nature to understand where the balance point is.
5. Choose to view both sides as neutral rather than one as good and one as bad.
You need to have an experience with both extremes to help you find balance. These experiences are learning opportunities that do not need to be feared. The nature of life is good. Everything serves a purpose. Darkness is needed to understand the light. If you have never experienced the absence of light, then you wouldn’t recognize the presence of light. So even though you might be saying “dang-it, duality!”, remember that it is there to help you understand goodness.
Yeah, this is going to take some practice, but it is worth the effort!